This is the story of how my kids got to experience the miracle of birth (via dog/cat) and how I got to experience the misery of too many damn animals in my house at once.
First, we found out that we were expecting (a human baby). That was shocking and scary and wonderful. Yay! Until morning sickness. Boo!
Some time later our dog was hit by the neighbors truck. Several hundred dollars worth of X-rays later it was discovered that her pelvis was fractured and she would require about 10 weeks of bed rest.
So she sat and ate and was pampered and all the while grew bigger. At first we thought it was simply lack of activity (she is not your typical lazy pug). We then began to suspect the sometimes result of fornication. Sure enough, $100 more dollars of useless tests confirmed her impending motherhood.
The cat was getting quite chunky also. Yes, that happened.
Within two weeks both delivered 5 dogs and 4 cats, respectively. All while I puked and continued to grow my own little parasite.
The children experienced their freaking miracles and we went on to experience the miracle of cleaning up after 12 f***ing animals!
For some reason I was talked into keeping one of each and (mercifully) Facebook helped me sell/give away the rest.
It was a miracle I'll not want to repeat.
It has been agreed that no other animals shall join us until at a least two current pets kick it.
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