Packing For a Trip

It goes something like this...

3 days to departure: 

Me, "OK everybody start bringing me their clothes!" 

Insert large pile of clothes on my bed that I still have to use 3 more times before we leave.

Me, "Wait, wait, wait. First bring me your suitcases!"

My oldest wrenches the largest suitcase from its precarious position underneath a mountain in a closet.

Monster Suitcase Example (pregnant with twins)

Me, "Put that back!" 
Son, "But it's too hard!" 

I get up to put back monster suitcase that we've only used once and I'm not sure why we still keep it.

I realize that 2 baby suitcases are inside the 'monster'.


I deliver the baby suitcases and resume search for appropriate number to accommodate 4 children.

Me, "Keep looking for the 'small' suitcases." 

I must help in the search at this point because children cannot remember to look for suitcases for longer than about 8 seconds.

Me, "Since you're not looking, clean your rooms!" 
Children, "Ugh!! What?! We just did!" <yeah right>
Me, "Just do it!"

Evie begins screaming because the iPad died.

I pull a clothes pin out of Logan's mouth.

I find all but one of the baby suitcases then get distracted by discovering life jackets we need for the trip in the process.

I am done trying to pack on this day.

The pile of traveling clothes on my bed will be kicked off in the night resulting in my having to fold them all again and wash some as well.

2 days to departure:


I have refolded all clothes and organized them by child. Unfortunately there isn't a complete outfit for any of them in the pile.

1. One sock, 9 pair of panties, 2 tank tops, a bathing suit and a nightgown for my daughter. 
2. 4 pair of jeans, his favorite shoes, a shirt with the sleeves cut out and assorted star wars pjs for my son. 
3. Various articles of clothing for the babies that doesn't fit them any longer or is only appropriate in winter.

I must ask for each type of clothing one at a time and a specific quantity.

Me, "Get me X # of underwear!" Then, "Get me X # of shirts!" And so on.

This process takes all morning as I must inspect and approve all choices while choosing for the babies at the same time - after which I realize there is a LOT of laundry to do.

Me, "Hey Kids! Bring all the dirty clothes to the laundry room!"  

<Reality - I must collect the dirty clothes from whence they are hiding.>

Kids, "OK!" 

<Kids continue to play "zip each other in the monster suitcase" I still haven't put away>

The rest of the day is consumed by diarrhea, Evie screaming because someone looked at her wrong and rescuing Logan from choking to death on various items he finds to gnaw on - Oh, and exactly one load of laundry.

1 day to departure:

Me, "Are your rooms clean?!" 
Kids, "Uh, huh!" <yeah right>

After rewashing the load I managed to wash yesterday, because I forgot to put it in the dryer and I live in the South so it takes exactly 8 seconds for it to start smelling bad and I waited till the next day - I get the laundry started.

Ok, it's go time. All laundry MUST be completed ASAP.

I scrap that ridiculous idea and start sorting out what we must have on the trip and throw it all in the washer so as to be able to actually pack bags instead of hauling laundry (aka garbage) bags "dorm style" to my Mother's house.

Me, "Kids! Bring me your shoes!" 

I have learned the hard way I have to actually lay eyes on shoes for each child as there is no guarantee that they will all actually make it into the vehicle wearing ANY on departure day. We have several extra pairs of dollar store flip flops due to this phenomena.


Emma, "I can't find any!" 

Me, "Really?! You were just wearing SOME earlier today! Where are those?" 

Emma, "I don't know! <begins to cry> My shoes are lost FOREVER!" 

Me, "Ugghh! Quit crying drama queen!"  "It's Ok. We will find them. Where did you take them off?" 

Emma, <sniff. sniff.> "The back porch." 

Me, "Well did you look there?" 

Emma, "No."

Me, "Well why the hell didn't you look there?!"  "Let's go look there." 

Guess where the shoes were? Ahhhhh!

Add to this a sprinkling of terror before Evie is lost found hiding in the second bathroom eating candy, and a period of time where I turn on a movie for the kids and hide in the bathroom checking Facebook - and there you have it... we are NOT packed.

8 hours to departure:

With kids (mercifully) sleeping - Joey and I frantically try to complete ALL laundry and pack ALL bags through the night.

At some point Joey heads to bed so he won't kill us all en route to our happy vacation. I remain awake to be sure we have toothbrushes, movies, diapers, pillows and the like.

Day of departure:


With minutes to spare, and the truck packed to bursting, we were on our way. 

I took a nap. Ha, ha. Just kidding!

I yelled at kids and tossed snacks, DVDs and pacis at them for 6 hours in order to prevent mutiny.

We survived arrived!

I did not include eating, homeschooling nor grooming to this tale because, well, I didn't have the energy to write it up. (But we did do those things, promise.)