I could really kick some butts...

My oldest attended a Pathfinder camping trip over the weekend with his Daddy. It was his first trip with the group and he was very much looking forward to it. He enjoyed most of the trip. He did NOT enjoy the teasing he endured from the older girls in the club.

Originally our whole family was supposed to attend together. However, due to rain the trip was rescheduled over a weekend that I could not go along. Also, some friends of ours were going to be in town and available for just a few hours on Saturday and so Joey was away for a few hours visiting with them and me. It was during that time that several of the girls in the group began teasing Kyler and generally giving him a hard time.



He was teased because they discovered he is the youngest in the group and one of them happened to see some food on his face and attributed that to his age. And so on concerning that topic. 

In addition to the teasing he was disturbed by one of the girls discussing horror movies she had seen which caused him to have nightmares about murdering his own brother. He was also disturbed to hear the girls discussing their boyfriends and boys issues in general. When I asked him what they said about that topic he replied that he didn't know because he didn't listen to that crap. :)

I have really conflicted views on teasing and bullying. (Well, not really - in my head only.)

On the one hand I want to SQUISH those girls and advise my children to come running whenever someone hurts them with words! No one is allowed to hurt my babies!

On the other hand I don't want to create children that can't survive in the real world.

• I want my kids to develop self esteem that can withstand any amount of bullying or teasing.
• I want them to be able to ignore hurtful words and respond maturely to situations where others are simply seeking a response for attention.
• If my children must endure teasing/bullying I want them to remember how it feels and determine never to cause anyone else to feel that way.

I humbly submit that the way to end poor behavior is not to enact a punishment or reward system. It is to treat others with love and respect because they are children of God no matter how they look, no matter how they live, no matter where they live and no matter how they treat me or my children. (I admit, that last one is especially HARD)

That being said, a punishment or reward system can be a good way to reinforce the training of children to behave like followers of Jesus. But the greatest of these is LOVE! (1 Cor. 13:13)